I had the AIESEC graduation dinner last night and when I arrived, Trung was the only one out of our team that was there. I texted Kirtan asking when he was coming and his reply was: "Don't care about Activate, so why go to the grad lol". I was just really pissed after reading that, neither I or Joanne particularly enjoyed AIESEC but we still showed up in respect of the new friends we've made. Actually a lot of other people didn't show but they all had plans and notified friends or their teams beforehand. Kirtan just didn't really give a fuck and it really annoyed me cause I was part of his team. I don't think people will see it as something big to complain about, but we were friends before this and we were in the same team so at least have the decency to tell me. Oh man, I actually got frustrated at Kirtan a lot during this whole AIESEC thing haha.

Kk anyways, it was just Trung and I at our team table cause Shezan, the leader went off with his mate so we became real bored. So Trung snitched Jane's bag and showed me his bottle of absinthe he purchased for the night. Chris then showed up and we decided to have a shot of the absinthe to kill the boredom. I got to the bathroom after and shieeeet was my face super red, Chris was all good cause he tank and Trung is brown lol, so he never gets the Asian flush. We proceeded to have another shot after lol. I got really embarrassed cause they turned the lights back on and my face was really flushed so I was walking around asking if any of the girls had foundation. Luckily, Rey did and I had to make my way across the room back to the toilets. Some of the people there caught a glimpse of my face so Trung just told everyone that I was crying cause I got dumped by 2 different boy friends on the same night, wtf lol.

After the event, Joanne and I gapped to Momo cause we got hungry. Chatted for a bit and headed to Nova with all the other teams. We got these A4 sized certificates for completing Activate but they were just like the certificates I got back in primary. Plus they were too big to fit into our bags so Joanne and I was just like fuck it and folded it up to make it fit before heading in. WE SO THUG lol. Man Nova was such a disappointment, there was no bass to the music so you couldn't really dance and it was so hot and stuffy, they need to install some air con. Out of the whole night, I basically only enjoyed shots with Trung + Chris and especially Momo with Joanne. What a disappointing night to end before heading back to the books.

Die.

I have this love and hate thing going on with attending social events with large amounts of people. I always try to attend everything cause I feel like I'll miss out if I don't attend and when I do actually attend these events, I always end up feeling shit afterwards. Farrrrrrrrk, like every time when I get home from these events I just get this overwhelming sense of negative thoughts. It's a total down buzz and I sit for ages recalling over the awkward and negative interactions I've had during that time. It's the shittiest feeling ever and it just reminds me of how much I hate everyone and myself and fucking people making offending jokes at me. Just fuck off, I'm not laughing and when I reply with something offending, don't turn it around and say it was inappropriate. Nah, Fuck you and I ain't even on my period lol. God and all these other trivial negative memories of the event pile up, just fuccccccccck everything is so depressing, oh my Jesus isn't real fuck. This down buzz thing happens every time, so I have to chain smoke to make myself feel better. Fuck shit uppppppp lol. Okay sleep time.

Wasted times...Part 1.

Yaaaaayayayay I'm so glad my AIESEC event is overrr. It was this university club I joined which helps develop leadership skills by organising events in teams. Omg my team went through so much drama and I didn't know what was going on half the time. Everybody was allocated into a team of 5 but my team only consisted of 4 people cause this girl didn't notify anyone that she dropped out. We tried contacting her through text and e-mail, but she just ignored us. She was this fat white chick, apparently she pulled out cause she felt isolated since there was only about 3 other white people who signed up. It's understandable if she felt uncomfortable but she should have at least gave everybody a heads up. Saw her once at work, I really wanted to call her out but manager was there so I just glared at her for ages. Yeah that's right bitch, you better eat your salad, it seems like it's the only food you should be eating while looking like that lol. But I didn't think lol at the time LOL.

Anyways, in the end my team consisted of Kirtan, Shezan, Trung and I. Shezan was given the role of leader but at the start he totally abused that role. That was where most of our drama came from. Kirtan and I didn't really have a good first impression of him, he told us that when we appoint a time for a meeting we have to be precise. We can't be 5 min late or even 1 min late and he used a lot of 'I want you guys to...' which seemed so demanding considering it was the first time we've talked to him. But man, Kirtan hates him so bad right. I've never seen him talk shit about anyone as much as Shezan. I understood where Kirtan was coming from, I myself had some issues with the leader. Like once this time Shezan wanted me to be the role of external relations which is basically the most difficult role. What ER does is basically going out and finding sponsors for our event. I really did not want that job, I wanted the role of Finance officer cause that shit was easy lol. But he just kept insisting giving me the position, he started off writing 'I'm going to award you the ER role'. WTF WTF, I didn't know it was such a privilege for you to 'award' me with it. After rejecting, he mentioned how it was an executive decision and if it's for the betterment of the team, he gets to make these decisions. I'm not even making this shit up, that's exactly what he wrote. Then he told me that he already offered the Finance role to Trung and he already accepted it, he then added that since he made an offer and Trung accepted, a transaction has occured. What the flying fuck, you are taking COMLAW 101, I am doing 3rd year papers, don't try to talk contracts with me. What the fuck are you going to do, sue me? I then talked to Trung about it and he basically said that he didn't really know what was going on, Shezan basically told him to do Finance rather than ask him. After all that shit happened, Trung and I switched roles YAY and Kirtan was in charge of marketing. But truth to be told, Shezan isn't really a bad guy, he's pretty cool to hang with now, we just had a rocky start.

Man, I wrote a lot. I'll finish the rest another time. But yeah, that image was our promotional poster for our event tackling the importance of nutrition.

It can not be changed.

It has been 2 weeks since my mum has come back home from China. Not to sound super hostile but my stress levels have gone up since then. She's a great mum, she makes me soup when I have fevers, she picks up after me when I make a mess but it's these tiny habits she has that rubs me the wrong way. In my family I am certain that I have more similarities to my dad, we're just so chill together, of course we do have arguments here and there, but they're rational 90% of the time. My mum on the other hand, I don't know, I just feel everything she does and the way she thinks is overly irrational. She's overly paranoid and overly religious these days, every good things that happens to the family she attributes it to God. That's why I was soooo surprised when dad told me he believes in God now. To this day, I still can't comprehend how my dad was converted, to me he's the most logical and science-orientated person ever. I have nothing against religious people but I'm just at disbelief that my dad has been converted. I was just like da fuck dad, you never believe anything that you can't see with your eyes, you're so cynical and shit, why you believe now, you were just bitching bout him last week. Why? WHY? WHHHHHHY? But nothing has changed about him, even though he claims there's a big man eating crackers in the sky, he still hates attending church and he still refuses to be baptised.

Anyways, back to my mum. Omgomgomg she's so frustrating 70% of the time. She's always the first one that ruins my day first. I think I already wrote about it in my old deleted postes, but this one time, I started tearing up suddenly. My dad asked me what was wrong and further asked if he did something and whether my mum did something. I looked so pathetic with tears and snort coming from my face and I was like WAAAAH WAAAAH My mum is so stupid, waaaah why is she so stupid? WAAAAH. LOL, it was also the time of my month so I think that attributed to my breakdown loool. So my dad was all 'It's true, I think she's pretty stupid at times too, but she's still your mother and you can't change that'. Then i cried harder LOL. I was all gee with my mum after that, I think I just needed to let out all my feelings bottled up inside after 19 years. With all due respect, I still think she's stupid 40% of the time due to a big personality clash, but she's a good mother and I definitely rely a lot on her.

I have money.

I got my job during the end of December last year. I applied online and they told me I had to go through a trial day first. It was super busy on the day because it was the last day to redeem the vouchers. I was supposed to be there for 2 hrs but then the manager told me to leave after 1 and a 1/2 hrs telling me; "You can leave now, I've already seen what you can do". I was then like oh shit muddafucker, I've just stuffed up my life, fuuuuck I'll never be able to get another job, I'm destined to live on the streets. But it was all gee in the end, the boss contacted me a week later awarding me with a position at his joint :). When I started the job, my manager was a Scottish dude called Callum. He didn't really tell me anything, he just basically told me where everything was and told me to go to work. I was so lost during the first week, cause the boss transferred me to their other branch so I was unfamiliar with the environment. But the manager quit his job after Christmas so I was stoked cause he was kind of a dick. So now this British girl took over, lol she talks like Oliver Twist. So basically we have 7 staff members on most days, 2 in the kitchen, 3 front of the house, 1 all-rounder plus the manager.

From what I've heard, the boss is kinda weird. After 2 weeks on my new job, he finally gave me the information pack which included contracts, induction DVD and a 2 paged test sheet lol. The other staff told me that after staff meetings, the boss gets everyone to pray looooooool. I also think he's trying to collect the world cause basically everyone that works there is a different nationality. We have a Mexican, Japanese, British, Vietnamese, Polish, Kiwi, Chile person (lol I have no idea what they're called), American, Indian, Scottish, Fijian and Chinese. We used to have a German and Indonesian too but they gonnnnne, so that's basically enough proof that boss man wants to create a miniature Earth garden at his salad bar.

On the bright side.

I feel like I should give a quick catch-up on what has been happening during the months I've stopped blogging.

+ I got a job, selling over-priced salads to rich white people.
- I turned 20 during the month of January.
- University started up again, holy shit I wanna die everytime I think about it dsfjsdgb.
+ I got a kitten; Chairman Mieow named by Jack, the family friend's kid.
+ Passed my restricted driving test.
+/- Joined AIESEC Activate, a student body club where we are allocated into a random group of 5 in order to organise an event around a social issue.
+/- Got closer to some new friends and drifted away from some old friends.

Butterfly.

After reading through all of my old blog posts, I've realised how retarded the posts have made me seem. I've always just typed down whatever is off the top of my head which may have contributed to all the senselessness of my previous posts. Therefore, I've decided to start anew and have deleted everything in the memory of Stranger Danger. I will most likely continue the stream of immature posts but at least people won't be able to go back and revisit the old ones. Hur hur.